11 Q&A's for the Wise

1. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
    When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

2. What's the height of conceit? 
    Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

3. What's the definition of macho? 
    Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

4. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
    Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

5. How do you double the value of a Yugo?
    You fill it with gas.

6. What do the LAPD and the Green Bay Packers have in common? 
    Neither of them can stop a Bronco.

7. Have you heard George Michael's new song?
    It's called Zip Me Up Before You Go Go.

8. I walked in a bar the other day and ordered a double - 
   The bartender brings out a guy who looks just like me.

9. What is forty feet long and has eight teeth? 
    The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

10. What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
      God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

11. Why is divorce so expensive?
      Because it's worth it!!!!!

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