15 NEW WORDS FOR THE '90s

1. Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.

3 Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

4. Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake.

5. SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

6. Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

7. Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

8. Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

9. Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.

10. Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

11. Midair Passenger Exchange - Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on collision. Midair passenger exchanges are quickly followed by "aluminum rain.".

12. Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

13. Prairie Dogging - standing up to look over the workstation partition to see another part of the office.

14. Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.

15. Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance."

Return to our Page