How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?
By Aidan Foster-Carter
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Korea/DL20Dg01.html
Pyongyang's Top Ten:

1. -- 56: the heroic people's detachment to storm the light bulb heights (10); the relevant Party section (20); a propaganda art troupe to play light music (25); and a solidarity delegation from Belarus (1).

2. -- Go out and read under the streetlight like everyone else, comrade. If you can find one working.

3. -- None. The DPRK wants for nothing. Our light bulbs, made in our own peculiar style, fully satisfy our people's taste. Only a traitor would seek to change them. When the arduous march is over and the US imperialists defeated, then we shall switch on one, two, many light bulbs in a blaze of glory.

4. -- As the Great Leader taught: "Early to bed and early to rise, 20-watt bulbs can damage your eyes." Now off to sleep with you. An empty stomach is good mental training. Tomorrow is another day.

5. -- As the Dear Leader taught, in his on-the-spot guidance at the Ryanggang No 69 Light Bulb Works:  "Whoa, you're a bright one. Bet you gotta lotta watts. You sure turn me on. Light my fire, baby!"

6. -- Everything is illuminated by the sun's rays of the great Juche idea! We have no need of light bulb.

7. -- The light bulb is a primitive relic of outmoded feudal society. Socialism demands its replacement by the progressive fluorescent tube. Under the Five Year Plan we shall make millions. Eventually.

8. -- What is a light bulb, please?

9. -- Our People's Army will thoroughly smash the perfidious imperialist plot to stir up light bulb envy, which is nothing but a base ruse to poke searchlights into the DPRK and ferret out state secrets.

10. -- Only one - but Kim Jong-il must really want to change.