How to Block or Open the Bunghole
[Eastern Medicine]
By Kim Hong-ghyoung
The Korea Times
April 20, 2001Those of you who have read my Revolution in Eastern Medicine may already know this. But for those of you who don't know yet, I'll go over the lesson. The urinal duct is called what Yin?
Answer ``Frontal Yin.''
And the excremental duct is what Yin?
Answer ``Rear Yin.''
Very good. And when what ought to be separated is not, it's called diarrhea. But there are many kinds of diarrhea. The kind that runs out, like out of a broken jar as you pour water into it, is called "thorough flux diarrhea." And the kind that comes out like melted cheese or butter is called "soft stool diarrhea." And then, there is a type of stool which is like diarrhea, called "efflux diarrhea." There is also this thing called "water diarrhea," which is like the squirting of a water pistol. In these dire cases we'd want to use something blackened to a crisp. Of course, this is a primitive method. The whole idea of using such a medicine is to stop up the bunghole. So what happens when we put a cap on the bunghole? It's flooding on the inside, so what's going to happen? It's going to go back up, that's what. In extreme cases, it might back up out the mouth. But what are you going to do?
The mouth and the anus, as the two ends of a single tube, are extremely important. Let's look at the body, minus the complex stuff, and you'll see a tube. Remember the pipette in your school chemistry lab? It's a glass tube basically, with both ends open. A pipette, as you know, will hold a liquid at the same level as the depth of its immersion. But does it always?
Answer ``Yes.''
No! You've got to stop up the top first. If you don't, the liquid drains out as you pull the pipette up. If you want to draw a certain amount of liquid out with a pipette, you have to stop up the top first. So using this analogy, I'm going to tell you a method of treatment for constipation. Just remember that the mouth-anus route is analogous to a pipette.
Someone who keeps his mouth shut all the time would tend to be what?
Constipated. Which means what? The top is stopped up. So if we want to cure constipation, we have to...?
Answer ``Vomit.''
That's right. Inducing vomit will help to relieve constipation. I used to tell my patients suffering from constipation to drink a glass of salt water and vomit. But, I've become weary of doing that. Why? Because it's a thankless job, as most people would rather I give them real medicine.
But, of course, sometimes medicine is necessary. We said earlier that medicine for constipation is generally what?
Rough or slippery? If you know the answer, you can apply it right away in your daily diet. Something oily in an empty stomach would be best. And if you drink coffee first thing in the morning, you might add more water, don't forget the cream! Those who are constipated but would insist on appearing extra-civilized by taking their coffee black are (and will continue to be) ``full of shit.''
Using the technique we've just learned, we can eject something else that often refuses to exit the body. What might that be?
Answer ``The menses.''
What else?
Answer ``Urine.''
Yes, that too. What else?
Answer ``Gas.''
What else?
Answer ``Babies.''
What happens when the baby won't come out? What's the common practice these days? A Caesarian Section. It's no picnic for the mother, I'll tell you that! But how did they used to do it before Caesar came along?
Since the time of Hippocrates, doctors in the West used to carry a special tool. Any idea what that was?
Answer ``A knife.''
Something less intimidating. I've already given you plenty of hints up to now. Especially for a gynecologist, it was a must. You can read about in any History of Medicine book.
Liquor?
Answer ``A brush.''
A brush?
Answer ``A quill.''
That's right! A quill! What do we do when we want to induce vomiting? Stick a finger down the throat, right? But, sometimes even a finger is not enough; you need something longer. That's why the doctors of old used to carry a feather with them when they went to deliver a baby.
That's what an ancient Intuner meant when he said, ``All things have their usefulness.'' In other words, there is nothing in the world that cannot in some way help you to become enlightened. We must keep in mind that there was once a great monk who attained enlightenment upon hearing the wind blowing through a bamboo grove, and another who got enlightened upon seeing a flower bloom. Sir Isaac Newton discovered the idea of gravity upon seeing an apple fall, and James Watt was able to clarify the principle of steam power after staring at a boiling kettle. Millions have seen things fall and water boil, but they failed to have an insight into the nature of the universe. All because of the failure to make a subtle observation.
One had to resort to the feather in the old days. One day, Master Huh Jun went fishing. People at the village nearby came to him, and told him that a baby wouldn't come out. After asking some routine questions, Master Huh Jun abruptly asked whether there was any stream with a strong current flowing nearby. The people told him there was such a stream. Then the master asked if there were any lichen-covered stones in the stream. The people said yes. The master told them to gather these stones and boil them in a cauldron, and then have the woman drink the boiled water. The Master's pupil looked perplexed, and thought his master might be wrong since there was no mention of this remedy in any of the texts that he'd read. The pupil is so much like today's doctors, who only know what is in the books! But really, what is it to know something? One day a man told his friend that he became a Christian. So his friend said, "Then you must know quite a bit about Christ. Where was he born?"
``I don't know.''
``Then, how many years did he go around preaching, and when did he die?''
``I don't know.''
``How come you don't know anything about what you believe in?'' the friend criticized.
The man replied, ``You might be right. All I know is that before I became a Christian, I was a drunk and a gambler. I tormented my family in many ways. But now, I don't drink, and have paid off all my debts, and have become a better father and husband. I know I was able to do all this because of Christ.''
Ladies and gentlemen, now isn't this really knowing?