JOKE SHARING - THE TRADITION CONTINUES
Last week I sent out more than my usual volume of junk e-mails. As a result, I got candid responses from some of my friends. Often they would go something like this:
"HEY! TOM, YOU SUCK! So what's with so much junk e-mail? Is it the rainy season in Tokyo?" or
"HEY! TOM, YOU SUCK!* Did you discover how to have sex with your keyboard?!"* My childhood buddies originally knew me as Tom Yusuk instead of Tom Coyner. But that is another story. Regardless, they still like to call me by the old name but with the above more common spelling.
Okay, so at least one of them figured it out.
But, of course, there is much more to this. It’s being part of a fraternity of guys that goes back beyond the fringe of history - in fact, it goes even beyond the fringe of our entire specie. According to my anthropological research, it all starts with the Neanderthals.
What may that be? you may ask. The answer is, my friend, there have always been guys willing to stop whatever they are doing (such as work) to pass on a joke - no matter how lame.
My empirical (raw data available on demand) research shows that Neanderthal guys would climb to the top of trees and communicate over great distances. Swaying among the clouds, right hand clinging to a branch or tree trunk and left hand under right arm pit, they would send messages among themselves. They tried to yelling but quickly realized that they would get hoarse. However, a guy could make arm pit farts for hours on end without significant fatigue.
A typical repartee would might go like this:
First Neanderthal: PFFFTT! PFFFTT-PFFFTT-PFFFTT! PFFFTT-FFFTT?! (DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GIVE A CRO-MAGNON WOMAN* AN ORGASM?)
* Neanderthal guys had a thing for Cro-Magnon women;
sort of like what short, dumpy American guys with thinning
hair have for tall Scandinavian blondes who go by names
such as Sonya.Second Neanderthal: PFFFTT! PFFFTT-FFFTT? (NO! HOW?)
First Neanderthal: PFFFTT! PFFFTT-PFFFTT-PFFFTT?!! (WHO CARES?!!)
Second Neanderthal: PFFFTT! (HAR!)
Third Neanderthal: PFFFTT! PFFFTT-PFFFTT-PFFFTT! PFFFTT-FFFTT?! (HEY, YOU GUYS! STOP TELLING JOKES IN COMPANY TREES!)
Actually it weren't just Neanderthal guys taking all of this stuff in. Cro-Magnon men were also listening and taking serious offense. That’s why most of us are descendants of Cro-Magnons.
However, Cro-Magnon guys would immediately stop their hunting and gathering and pass the jokes along. In fact, this basic joke has appeared and re-appeared over the ages and continues to be passed among guys of all nationalities - including some of us who still occasionally drag knuckles on the floor as did the Neanderthal ancestral joke tellers.
I hope this offers some light on why I do what I do. If you still don’t understand, you may want to discuss this with another guy whom you suspect belongs to the Cro-Magnon-descendent majority.
Tom