Looking For Love Chung Jung Ho is a tall and sturdy man with a playful smile. The 29-year-old Samsung employee is handsome, sociable and has the easy assurance of a good company man. Perfect husband material, you might think.
Eschewing the traditional ways, young Koreans now are relying on computerized dating services to find their perfect partnerFar East Economic Review
By Song Jung A in Seoul
Issue cover-dated January 20, 2000But finding a partner wasn't easy. Chung had little experience in dating, having attended all-male middle and high schools. He works for a company that employs far more men than women. "Suddenly I realized that I was already 29 and still single," he recalls. "I wanted to marry someone and settle." So he turned to SunWoo Event, one of South Korea's biggest matchmaking agencies.
Chung certainly got his money's worth. In February 1999, he found the woman of his dreams. On the second meeting arranged by SunWoo, he met 25-year-old saleswoman Suh Hyun Joo, a high school graduate with long hair. The two married in December. "It worked for me," says Chung of the service. "I would definitely recommend my friends try this new type of arranged meeting," he declares.
The couple isn't alone. South Korea's rapid modernization in the past few decades has disrupted the tradition of arranged marriages and made finding Mr. or Ms. Right a frustrating battle for many young urban Koreans. As a result, computerized matchmaking agencies are booming as young singles turn to dating services in their search for the perfect mate.
The commercial business of matchmaking started in Japan about 20 years ago; it reached Korea in the early 1990s. Now, the country has about 300 such firms, including well-known companies such as Duo, SunWoo Event and Echorus. Anywhere from 5,000 to 30,000 people subscribe to each of these big agencies, and the industry posted total revenue of 50 billion won ($44 million) in 1999, from about 5 billion won in the early 1990s. In 1999, the industry more than doubled in size from the previous year. Even amid the economic crisis, these companies have expanded, building branch offices throughout Korea and the United States.
Traditionally, Koreans chose their spouses through meetings arranged by relatives or acquaintances. More than half of all Koreans married through such go-betweens until the 1970s, according to an industry report by Duo. But in recent decades, as South Korea modernized, so too did attitudes toward matrimony. Today, marriages for love, not family-arranged partnerships, have become the norm.
But finding love in the big city--or even mid-size towns--is notoriously difficult. Networks of friends and family are more tenuous, given the highly urbanized society. Many young Koreans are too busy with their studies or work to waste time on endless dates that may lead nowhere. Also, as Byun Hwa Soon, researcher at the Korea Women's Development Institute in Seoul, notes: "Korea is not an open society where men and women can freely mingle with each other. So there are not many opportunities for young singles to mix with the opposite sex. "Using a dating service is popular in a sense, says Byun, because "a third agency" does the awkward part for them, in terms of finding out family background and particulars, and relationships begin "with less burden on such things, since they know a lot about each other."
In part, the agencies are popular because they are regarded as a combination of the Western way of a blind date and the Eastern way of matchmaking. And because Koreans put much emphasis on "saving face, "they often feel obligated to meet a person so as not to embarrass the go-between. That's not a problem with the agencies--plus, confidentiality is guaranteed. It's a way to save time, and indeed, save money while looking for an ideal partner. "The best part of this service is that I can choose my partner with prior information," says Lee Sung Min, a 25-year-old Duo subscriber and employee of LG Information & Communication."It's more rational and casual than the traditional way."
Korea's economic crisis has in some ways spurred the business. As job prospects dimmed during the depths of the recession, many female university graduates opted to marry rather than compete in the shrinking job market. The agencies have benefited greatly: In 1997, those women made up only 0.5% of subscribers; in 1999, they accounted for 10%.
The crisis also has appeared to help emphasize different priorities. "Nowadays, many of our subscribers choose their mates on the strength of their economic capability," observes Youn Deok Ju, a marriage consultant at Duo, the nation's largest matchmaking agency with 30,000 subscribers. Civil servants and teachers have become more popular prospective spouses, while employees of conglomerates such as Daewoo--once the darling of many potential brides--have lost their lustre. At the same time, fewer young Korean men want their spouses to be full-time housewives. A recent survey by Duo showed that more than 50% of young people expect to have a dual-income family after marriage.
Although the matchmaking agencies have usurped more time-honoured methods of marriage, tradition itself also helps boost the industry. Even though attitudes towards marriage have become more liberal in modern Korea, people still face pressure to marry around the age of 30. Duo spokesman Lee Kyung Min says about 40% of the company's clients are thirtysomething; many are an eldest son or daughter. "My parents advised me to register with a matchmaking agency before I get too old," says Chu Min Jeong, a 29-year-old woman doctoral candidate in statistics at Seoul National University. "I also wanted to meet a variety of people," she says. "I meet a limited number of men in my everyday life."
The annual subscription fee for an agency such as Duo typically runs from 400,000 won to 600,000 won--a bit of a luxury, considering the average salaried worker's annual income is about 20 million won. But unlike traditional matchmakers, the agencies don't ask for further payment, even if their customers get married.
In exchange, the agency provides a wide range of information on potential mates and arranges 15 meetings through a computer-matching programme based on personal profiles provided by the subscribers. "We take into account various factors for compatibility such as family background, education and religion," says Youn Deok Ju, a marriage consultant at Duo, which boasts a success ratio of more than 20%. In 1998, about 2,000 people married as a result of its computerized service. Overall, of the 366,000 marriages in 1998, as many as 10,000 couples met through matchmaking agencies, according to Duo.
Younger Koreans say they prefer computerized matchmaking because they want to avoid errors in judgment and misinformation often involved in traditional arranged marriages. Duo uses a strict screening system for its subscribers. "We arrange meetings between individuals whose identifications have been thoroughly checked," says Lee, Duo's spokesman. To increase credibility, Duo asks every applicant to provide proof of identification, such as graduation certificates and job records.
Those who use the service of Duo or other matchmaking agencies must meet certain conditions. Men must have at least a college diploma and a job, while women must be high-school graduates. More than 80% of Duo's members are university graduates, and many of them are professionals. Even height and age restrictions apply: Men above 40 years old and under 170 centimetres in height and women above 35 and under 158 centimetres aren't accepted.
Not surprisingly, these kinds of "elite-oriented" service have stirred up sharp criticism. "Subscription is limited to people with nice outward conditions for marriage," notes psychiatrist Park Jin Saeng. "That makes people assess their potential partners solely on the strength of factors like appearance, job and wealth." But subscribers themselves don't appear offended by the criteria. "It's important to have credible information about the partner I will meet," says Duo subscriber Lee.
Despite the popularity and convenience of the matchmaking services, though, many subscribers are still reluctant to admit they use them. "I don't like the stereotype people have. If I tell them the truth, they would think that I am not good at dating women," says the recently married Chung.
In an attempt to reduce that bias, matchmaking agencies frequently host dating events open to all. In April 1998, SunWoo held an event to help single North Korean defectors in Seoul meet South Korean women, resulting in the first North-South Korean marriage through the help of such agencies.
Experts say the business of computerized matchmaking will continue to thrive as long as there's demand from young adults anxious to avoid the risks involved in marriage-for-love. It's essentially a system by which people choose spouses from similar backgrounds, says Kim Hyun Mi, a researcher at the Asian Centre for Women's Studies at Ehwa Women's University. She adds: "This is a modern version of traditional matchmaking, using hi-tech developments. Computerized matchmaking may be the most viable option for risk-averse modern people."
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