Sex in movies. Sex online. Sex on ``Nightline.'' But, according to a major new survey, America's seeming obsession with the subject isn't translating to universal success behind bedroom doors.
Forty-three percent of women and 31 percent of men suffer from sexual problems, according to what researchers call the most comprehensive U.S. sex survey since the 1948 Kinsey Report.
The survey of 3,159 men and women ages 18 to 59 found listless lovemaking associated with emotional and stress-related problems such as poor health, trauma and low quality of life.
``We were extremely surprised'' by the response, said Edward O. Laumann, the University of Chicago sociologist whose team conducted the study. ``I'm hopeful that people will see if they have a problem, it's not just about them.''
Previous research had shown only 10 to 20 percent of people ever seek help for sexual problems.
Two factors seem to enhance erotic satisfaction, particularly for women: education and income.
For instance, female college graduates are only half as likely to experience low desire, problems achieving orgasm, sexual pain and sexual anxiety as those without a high school degree. Falling household income was found to boost the risk of sexual dysfunction in women.
Does all this mean that Silicon Valley -- with its highly educated population accumulating more wealth than most areas -- is a sexual nirvana? Not necessarily.
``People who are high achievers, people who have more education . . . tend to be driven by curiosity -- a willingness to read, research, explore,'' said Peter Pearson, who runs the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, a counseling center. ``But they're stressed and tired.''
`Desire discrepancy'
``Two-career couples are torn between work time, family time, personal time and marriage time,'' he added. `` `Desire discrepancy' is the No. 1 sex problem I see in Silicon Valley -- and it's not just men wanting more sex, but often women.''
Marriage appeared to reduce the risk of sexual problems, the study found.
The study also charted factors that work against sexual satisfaction.
Anxious people are too busy worrying about everything from money to performance to feel sexual; depressed or weary people may believe it isn't worth the effort, according to the report.
``Sexual problems are widespread in society and are influenced by both health-related and psychosocial factors,'' the researchers said.
Proof of a cosmic sense of humor, the research found that aging women and men are on separate sexual trajectories -- with sex problems decreasing for women but increasing for men over time.
Single people, particularly young women and older men, are most likely to have sexual problems, researchers found.
But the reasons differ.
In young women, sex problems are linked to inexperience, a high number of partners, and spells of no sexual activity -- although a similar effect isn't seen with young men, the researchers said. More than one in four women ages 18 to 29 said they do not find sex pleasurable.
Effects of aging
For older men, decreased sexual interest and ability stem from physiological changes that occur as part of the aging process, they said.
Men under 30 reported the fewest problems: Only 7 percent were unable to reach orgasm, compared with 26 percent of young women. Seven percent of young men had trouble achieving and maintaining an erection, compared with 18 percent of men over 50.
``Young men don't know what they're doing is not OK because no one has ever told them,'' said San Francisco-based sex therapist and syndicated columnist Isadora Alman. ``And their hydraulics work better and more efficiently'' than those of older men.
The study, described by its authors as the most detailed and controlled look at the demographics of sexual dysfunction, appears in today's Journal of the American Medical Association.
The researchers based their findings on the 1992 National Health and Social Life Survey, a compilation of personal interviews. The participants were asked whether they had experienced sexual dysfunction over several months in the previous year. Dysfunction was defined as a regular lack of interest, pain during sex or persistent problems reaching orgasm, achieving an erection or sustaining lubrication.
Bay Area sex experts said the study reflects much of what they witness in their practices.
``If you're worried about feeding your kids, you're not so concerned with the quality of your orgasm,'' Alman explained.
``Affluent women can use sex as a tension release, for pair bonding or a thousand other reasons,'' Alman said. ``The consequences are not so terrifying. Poorer women may fear that their man will leave them if they don't put out.''
Older women have more sexual savvy than younger women but worry about stretch marks, cellulite and body parts that droop and jiggle, she said.
Carol Leigh, a 20-year veteran prostitute with the San Francisco-based sex workers advocacy group COYOTE, said that based on her experience, the dysfunction rate is so high because ``no one taught us how to enjoy sex.''
And she agrees with the findings in the report.
``The more comfortable, relaxed and secure the situation, the better,'' she said.
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