TACO FUNNY MONEY
This may later be determined to be one of the Internet's "urban myths" but the following has enough unexaggerated nonsense in it that it somehow rings true. Read on...
The following is a true story; it happened to me.
I stopped at Taco Bell late one evening for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold was my only cash a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figured that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry a clerk about breaking a $50 bill. The conversation went:
ME: Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go.
Employee: Is that it?
ME: Yep.
Employee: That'll be $1.04.
So I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and says
Employee: Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them.
Employee: Hey, you ever seen a $2 bill?
MGR: No. A what?
Employee: A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.
MGR: Ask for something else -- THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL.
Employee: Yeah, I thought so.
He comes back to me and says
Employee: We don't take these. Do you have anything else?
ME: Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Employee: I don't know.
ME: See here -- it says legal tender?
Employee: Yeah.
ME: So, shouldn't you take it?
Employee: Well, hang on a sec.
e goes back to his manager, who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift, and says
Employee: He says I have to take it.
MGR: Doesn't he have anything else?
Employee: Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
MGR: I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE!
Employee: What should I do?
MGR: Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money.
Employee: I can't tell him that, you tell him.
MGR: Just tell him.
Employee: No way, this is weird, I'm going in back.
The manager approaches me and says
MGR: I'm sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night.
(It was 8 PM and this Taco Bell is in a well-lighted indoor mall with 100 other stores.)
ME: Well, here's a two.
MGR: We don't take *those* either.
ME: Why not?
MGR: I think you *know* why.
ME (Knowing full well he's an idiot): No really, tell me, why?
MGR: Please leave before I call mall security.
ME: Excuse me?
MGR: Please leave before I call mall security.
ME: What for?
MGR: Please, sir.
ME: Uh, go ahead, call them.
MGR: Would you please just leave?
ME: No.
MGR: Fine, have it your way then.
ME: No, that's Burger King, isn't it?
At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in and says (at the other end of counter, in a whisper)
SG: Yeah, Mike, what's up?
MGR: This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.
SG: Really? What?
MGR: Get this, a "two" dollar bill.
SG: Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?
MGR: I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.
SG: So, is the fifty a fake?
MGR: No, the $2 is.
SG: Why would he fake a $2 bill?
MGR: I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?
SG: Yeah...
Security guard walks over to me and says
SG: Mike here tells me you have a fake bill you're trying to use.
ME: Uh, no.
SG: Lemme see 'em.
ME: Why?
SG: Do you want me to get the cops in here?
At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I really just wanted to eat.
ME: I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill.
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says
SG: Mike, what's wrong with this bill?
MGR: It's fake.
SG: It doesn't look fake to me.
MGR: But it's a "$2 bill."
SG: Yeah?
MGR: Well, there's no such thing ... is there?
The security guard and I both looked at the manager like the moron he is, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue. My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too.
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