You know you've been in Asia for too long if...
* the footprints on the toilet seat are your own.* you no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue.
* you stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day.
* you habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift.
* it has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody can get off.
* you're willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to within a kilometer of at home.
* it is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.
* you rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply "up to you."
* you no longer wonder how someone making US$400 a month can drive a Mercedes.
* you accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue.
* you have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family car.
* you accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it "fixed."
* you are no longer surprised when you are passed while passing another vehicle.
* you find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while the plane is on final approach.
* you think the Proton and Kijang are a well-built, stylish cars.
* you regard running hand-in-hand with all your family as the best way to cross the highway.
* you love the challenge of avoiding meter-deep potholes at highway speeds.
* you are quite content to repeat your order six times in a restaurant that only has four items on the menu.
* you can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your pants, or you have your suits made with terrycloth pockets.
* a T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine.
* you believe everything you read in the local newspaper.
* you enjoy singing along with televised prayers and anthems.
* you regard traffic signals, stop signs and copy-watch peddlers with equal disdain.
* if you have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags.
* nobody else can top your tales of exotic foods, or would want to.
* if, when listening to the pilot prove he can't speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the Air Traffic Controllers.
* you regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.
* you have more knick-knacks than your grand-mother.
* you're not surprised that three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
* you understood all the references above.
You've been living in Hong Kong too long if ...
* you own more than one rice cooker (too many credit cards?)
* you think its normal to wait six days to get your drycleaning back or pay 50% surcharge for next day service
* you've seen every new Hollywood release at UA Queensway (before its been taken off)
* you no longer notice the Chinese subtitles
* taxi drivers understand you
* the people handing out free samples (tissues or sanitary pads) at the MTR actually offer you one
* the people handing out real estate or restaurant flyers written in Chinese don't give you one
* you know what's on TV tonight and are prepared to watch it
* you use your mobile on the MTR
* you've considered buying ANYTHING lime green
* you think its normal to buy milk in a box with a use by date of Sept 99, or are prepared to drink a cappuccino made with it
* you think a cheap night out is HKD$300
* you no longer think you'll die if you eat the local seafood
* at Chinese banquets you try first and ask what it is second
* you no longer freak out when your doctor suggests a routine tuberculosis test
* you've considered taking up dragon boat racing
* (due to selective memory) you honestly believe you could return to the western world and live an hour from the city and/or survive without a maid
