You Know You've Been in Asia Too Long If-

*  The foot prints on the toilet seat are your own

*  You no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue

*  You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day

*  You habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift

*  It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody can get off

*  You're willing  to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to within a kilometer of at home

*  It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting

*  You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply "up to you"

*  You know longer wonder how someone making US$200 a month can  drive a Mercedes

*  You accept the fact that you have to queue  to get your number for the next queue

*  You have considered buying a motorcycle for your next family car

*  You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "broken" and that it will cost a lot of money to get it "fixed"

*  You are no longer surprised when you are passed while passing another vehicle

*  You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while  the plane is on final approach

*  You think the Proton and Kijang are well built stylish cars

*  You regard running hand-in-hand with all your family as the best way to cross the highway

*  You love the challenge of avoiding meter-deep potholes at highway speeds

*  You are quite content  to repeat your order six  times in a restaurant  that has only four items on the menu 

*  You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them  on you pants, or you have your suits made with terrycloth pockets

*  A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine

*  You believe everything you read in the local newspaper

*  You enjoy singing along with televised prayers and anthems

*  You regard traffic signs, stop signs and copy-watch peddlers with equal disdain

*  If you have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags

*  Nobody else can top your tales of exotic foods, or would want to 

*  If, when listening to the pilot prove he can't speak English, you  no longer wonder if he can understand the Air Traffic Controllers

*  You regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different

*  You're not surprised that three men and a ladder  show up to change a light bulb

*  You own a rice cooker 

*  You think it's normal to wait six days to get your drycleaning back or pay 50% surcharge for same day service

*  You know longer notice the Chinese subtitles

*  Taxi drivers understand you

*  The people handing out free samples actually offer you one

*  You think its normal to buy milk in a box with a use date of Sept. 95, or are prepared to drink a cappuccino made with it

* You no longer think you'll die if you eat local seafood

*  At Chinese banquets you try first and ask what it is second

*  You no longer freak out when your doctor suggests a routine tuberculosis test

*  Due to selective memory you honestly believe you could return to the western world

*  You understood all the references above

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